As the holidays approach, family law experts say tensions between divorced parents often rise. Board certified family law attorney Charlotte Rainwater appeared on FOX 26’s The Isiah Factor Uncensored show and said preparation and composure are essential when dealing with an uncooperative former partner.
Rainwater issued three key strategies for parents navigating holiday custody arrangements: Know your custody rights, document conversations and stay calm.
“January is a particularly busy period for attorneys because of scheduled exchanges tied to Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and the return to school,” Rainwater said.
Her first recommendation is to know your custody agreement and follow it closely. Rainwater urged parents to be punctual for pick ups and drop offs and to send a brief reminder message the day before any scheduled exchange. She said doing so helps avoid confusion, shows enthusiasm for spending time with the child and keeps the focus where it belongs.
When an ex attempts to avoid an exchange altogether, Rainwater said documentation becomes vital.
“Keep all communication in writing and clearly state that you fully intend on following the court ordered agreement and will be present at the designated location,” Rainwater said. “If the other parent fails to appear with the child, it could lead to a contempt finding. All written communication may become evidence, so wording should always remain calm and factual.”
If a parent arrives at the exchange location and the child is not there, Rainwater said to stay calm and continue documenting. She advised sending a single courtesy message confirming arrival and waiting, then using a phone to capture the date, time and surroundings to show the other parent was not present. Bringing a witness or contacting law enforcement to create a record can also help. Afterward, she said parents should notify their attorney.
“If your ex eventually arrives but is excessively late, do not react out of emotional,” Rainwater said. “Some individuals may attempt to provoke conflict, so staying composed sets a positive example for the child. Interactions should be brief and civil. Don’t use this opportunity, especially in front of your child, to retaliate. Remember, your child is watching.”
Rainwater also highlighted a new Texas law that took effect September 1. Under the statute, a parent found in contempt three times for denying the other parent access to a child can lose custody. She emphasized that strong documentation is necessary for an attorney to prove repeated violations in court.
“I encouraged parents to focus on their children and rely on preparation rather than emotion,” Rainwater said.